Spring has Sprung

The respite from dating also provided the same from the drama my relationships seemed to always include. I concentrated on game shows, Midnight Special and a brand new variety show, Dick Clark Live.

Dick Clark Live included interesting, different type of acts. I was assigned to monitor them for authenticity. Why you might ask? Well, to make sure these acts weren't misleading to the viewers. As a bit of back story, NBC had been the network involved in the "Game Show Scandals" of the '50's. The producers of the most well known game shows gave some of the contestants the answers to make for "better television". Problem was this was unfair to the contestants who didn't get the answer and to the viewers who thought, unlike scripted television, everything they were watching was real and honest. So, to be certain this never happened again NBC put in a department called "Compliance and Practices". Standards and Practices dealt with scripted television; C&P with "real" television.

Since Dick Clark Live had magic acts and the like I was a C&P person assigned along with a Standards person to ensure both good taste and honesty came into your home weekly. Dick Clark called us "Frick and Frack". The producer of the show, Bill Lee, had quite a temper. Many producers resented "the Censors"; we thwarted their creativity. Suffice it to say, we got yelled at a lot when things weren't going well. In live television that was quite often.

There would be a dress rehearsal at 11:00AM - 2:00PM on the East Coast. The show would the go "live" at 5:00PM - to the East Coast. The West Coast would air it three hours later with a "previously recorded" identification at the bottom of the screen. The problem was I wouldn't see the "act" until dress rehearsal. One day the magic act involved a burning rope dangerously up toward the precariously placed "assistant". Magic, of course. I didn't think much was wrong with it, but needed to call my boss to let him know what was included.

I must explain about Alan Trankley. An ex FBI agent who sat at his desk with a picture of J. Edgar Hoover literally looking over his shoulder. Seriously. When our East Coast boss, Sam, had first met with him after taking the position, Alan informed him "I would kill for you.", to which Sam replied, "I don't think that will be necessary". To say he took this all we did very seriously would be an understatement.

When I explained the act to Alan his first question was, "Is the rope really burning?"

Well, no, it was a TRICK!!! An illusion...magic!

"Well, if it's not, they have to put up a disclaimer", he responded.

Something along the lines of "rope actually not burning...kids, don't try this at home" running along the bottom of the screen as the performance was happening above.

I knew Bill Lee would be less than thrilled.

His face turned purple as he sputtered, "Do you see how ridiculous this is? It's f***ing magic. An optical illusion. Are you people f***ing insane?".

Alan's other option was to actually set the rope on fire. Even I felt there were limits to the lunacy of my job and chose not to pass on that alternative to the man with steam coming out of his ears.

I went back to the office following the dress rehearsal and wrote up my show report to send to send to New York in the interoffice mail. Remember, this was the world of typewriters, no computers or e-mails.

I sat at my desk contemplating exactly how much trouble I'd get into when my phone rang.

It was Bruce from "Name That Tune". Nine months after that amazing first date he'd gotten around to asking me out for a second.

I said yes and wondered if I made two mistakes that day!