OK - a bit of housekeeping here. I've changed some names...I've left out last names unless people are no longer with us, literally. When I started this blog last summer I had a "conversation" with Bruce. We're Facebook friends and last saw each other at Ralph Edwards' funeral. I told him what I was doing and that I wanted to use his real name. Since the odds of too many people ever seeing this are high, he said "sure, be kind".
Bruce Belland was a Four Prep in the late 1950's and again now...but that's a whole other part of his story. I'll stick to ours. Well, my version of it.
He'd asked me to go to dinner and a Writer's Guild screening. Two weeks from now. In the meantime I was working on Name That Tune. My friend, Judi, knew of my "crush" and how it had - or rather hadn't - turned out after the first date. She encouraged me to "be honest". I wasn't really sure what that meant, only that I was up for a great date and then never hearing from him again, so I decided I would cancel.
I clearly remember calling Bruce at his office from a phone in a dressing room near Studio 3 where Name That Tune was taping. Remember, no cell phones. He wasn't due at the studio until close to taping time and I wanted this over and done by then.
I'm not going to attempt to quote the conversation - the gist was, I can't go..he asked why... I'm not even sure...but I'm not up for having a great time and never hearing from you again. Well, that kind of sounded like I wanted a date and then a marriage proposal. Confusion ensued on my end, but he seemed to be enjoying the conversation. He said it was nice to hear someone be honest and that was what he was looking for.
Little did I know at the time, he'd discussed with his therapist his desire to stop dating around and be "real" with somebody. He had a long card with names and phone numbers on it. When he got to mine he said..."her".
So, I went on the date. And many, many more.
Bruce always made me laugh, which wasn't easy six months after my mom died. We went on long drives in his convertible listening to 8-tracks (OY, did I just say that?). Billy Joel was my favorite. Years later he told me the song "Always a Woman" reminded him of me. Funny, at the time I thought it reminded him of an old girlfriend. I'm not going to write about that relationship because it was "his". But it definitely led to "ours".
Bruce had two daughters. Bruce was 41. I was 27. His daughters were 12 and just about 16. Bruce also had an ex-wife, Brenda. Or, at least I thought she was an ex-wife. Turns out, while they'd been separated for four years, those darn papers just never seemed to get finalized. Brenda had a nutty, wonderful Italian boyfriend, Richard and everybody lived within a two mile radius of one another.
Again, these were the days before modern technology. No cell phones, no answering machines. The "in" thing was a pager and an answering service with live people who could call you for any "emergencies". Doctors, movie stars and Bruce had an answering service and there always seemed to be an "emergency" when we were out on a date. Child related, house related - of course, Brenda and the girls all lived in the family home. When we were first dating the emergencies seemed to center around Tracey's sweet sixteen party at the Magic Castle.
While I had no idea at the time, major discussions between B&B revolved around whether or not I should attend. While B&B were legally separated, let's just say their lives really weren't. I was disrupting the status quo. While he'd dated - a lot - I seemed to be the first one he brought around to meet his parents. Totally out of the blue one night, I might add. I had absolutely no idea of the significance of that meeting, but I guess Brenda did because those emergencies just kept on escalating.
Wouldn't you think I'd think something was just a wee bit off here?
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