Thursday, April 14, 2011

Life Goes On...

Safe to say that had Big Joe and I been given the choice as to which family member we wanted to be left standing alone with, it wouldn't be the way it turned out. My father had a larger than life way about him as a key component to his personality. Ralph Edwards' son said, upon meeting him, "he takes up all the air in the room."

His grief took all the air out of me. He arrived in Los Angeles and left the next morning. Details are unimportant.

And, then he was missing...for four weeks. Driving cross country ... Thanksgiving...no word from him. My mom's birthday was December 14th. It was on a Saturday that year. The phone rang. Again, details unimportant. My father's way of dealing with things was outwardly expressed anger including abusive verbal tirades directed at the person who had displeased him. Nothing new here. This one explicitly covered how I'd let him down when he needed me most, ending with "I want your mother's jewelry back".

I hung up in tears and called Bruce, who was really, really angry at my father. I had an ally who saw my father as the bully he could be.

Bruce called my father. He kindly, but firmly, let him know that while he had lost his wife and son, I had lost my mother and brother. He wasn't the only one suffering. My father called me back and said "I know he loves you". Huh??? The words "I'm sorry would never pass his lips".

I think I decided then and there I would marry Bruce Belland.

Guess I still believed in that "knight in shining armor" theory.

In a word...OY!!

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