Chris...and Other Errors

I know some people rebound quickly after horrendous life events. Others stay stuck in their gully of grief for years. I was somewhere in the middle - sad beyond belief but moving through every day as if I were still where I actually was. Chris and his engagement ring were the talk of many of my friends. Nobody liked him or thought I should date him, let alone marry him. Nobody thought I'd actually go through with something as drastic as a wedding, but considering the state of my emotions nothing was really out of the question.

Chris and I didn't get along very well. We fought a lot about most things inconsequential since we didn't know each other well enough to disagree about anything important. He was very controlling and I didn't like to be controlled. Many years - and many dollars - later I would more fully understand my need to be "the boss of me". A word to the wise; major life decisions while submersed in grief should be avoided. But then, you probably already know that. I didn't.

Chris was pushing to set a date for the wedding when we couldn't even agree on where to go for dinner. Even I knew this was not a good thing. Chris thought the harder he pushed the more I would relent. Ah, not so fast. I reacted exactly the opposite. But this seemed to be a reprieve from my sadness. When I was angry at Chris I didn't feel quite so lost over losing my Mom. Sorry to say, I didn't notice the correlation between those two emotions at the time.

My work on the game shows went on. I found the studio provided a respite from my sadness. I also found that back at work life seemed "normal" because no one spoke of what had happened. At our stage of life in 2011, we've all experienced horrible things but in 1977, not so much. My Mom had died quickly and, sadly, far too young. People didn't know what to say so after the initial "so sorry" upon my return, nothing was said. Life goes on...

And, mostly, it did. I just wasn't aware I was only half there. Sadly, the half that was there set about tormenting Chris for...well, just being Chris. To be fair, the torment was mutual. He wasn't exactly the "faithful" type. The "Janet" he pursued was not the "Janet" he wound up with, so Chris moved on a couple of nights in a row about a month later. So, upon I discovering his indiscretion I went over to his apartment and put a beautiful silver cuff bracelet he'd given me under the left rear tire of his fine little Mercedes.

I decided not to date for a while.