Life Goes On

I could write pages about the days and weeks after my mom died, but I don't want to go back to that sad place. Even after this many years, I miss her every day. And I'll tell you the truth - she is always with me. You'll hear some great stories about that if you continue reading.

Suffice it to say, things did go on. I think my friends were as surprised as I was at her death. It was shocking enough to think she'd be gone in a year, but six weeks. Unreal. Yet, life did go on in the form of many game show tapings.

One of the first shows I worked upon returning from New York was - Name That Tune. There was Bruce - never to be heard from again - who told me how sorry he was to hear about my loss. My crush was on very, very low simmer.

The manly priority at that time was Chris. He'd "surprised" me upon my return with a diamond ring from Tiffany's. Oy! Marrying him was certainly not on my agenda. I doubt that I really even loved him and I certainly didn't trust him. One definitely true cliche - "marry a man who cheats on his wife and you marry a man who cheats on his wife". Same was true about live in girlfriends. We weren't even getting along. Although he did drive me to the emergency room one Saturday afternoon.

Yes, the emergency room. In those 70's days I used to smoke a little grass, turn up Barry Manilow and clean my apartment. I don't know which is the most embarrassing part of that last sentence. Well, I'd moved a wing back chair out from a corner and was cleaning around it. I forgot I'd moved the chair and as I turned I whacked my forehead solidly against the wall. Yet another reason not to clean - at least not when stoned. The bump on my head had grown from a golf ball into a soft ball by the time Chris arrived and he quickly transported me to St. Joe's, a Catholic hospital right across from NBC.

They took me in for an x-ray. St. Joe's was a Catholic hospital and the nun/nurse was in her habit - just like the nun/nurse at the hospital my mom had been in. I hadn't cried much since I'd returned from the funeral but when she asked me how I was I burst into tears and sobbed. She was kind, very kind. She patted my shoulder as I sputtered out my sad saga.

My head wasn't broken...but I believed my heart certainly was.

I wasn't ready to love anybody but I was ready to be mad...very mad.

Poor Chris!