How can this be?

I think we can all agree that when the very worst things in life happen your reaction can often be "how can this be?". I'd returned to California and my mom remained in the hospital. I spoke to her, my father and Jody every day...several times. I went to work, monitored the game shows and moved through the routine of life without really being there at all. I wanted to be back in New York. As the days turned into a week I knew I had to go home to be with my family. I wanted to spend as much time with my mother as I could.

Sam - my New York boss - was wonderful. He told me to come to New York and take as much time as I needed. My mom was coming home for the hospital in a couple of days. I made plans to go home.

The day before she was to leave the hospital mom got a cold. Not good under the best of circumstances, as she had been an asthmatic ever since I could remember. It was never "just a cold"...she wanted to go home but the doctors said ...not. She may have been very sick but when my mom really wanted something she went about getting it. My dad agreed and lobbied for the doctors to give her a shot of adrenaline so she could have the strength to leave the hospital. The doctor said it could kill her...my dad replied, "exactly where do you think we're going here?".

I was three thousand miles away ... mom got her wish and came home from the hospital. I talked to her, told her I loved her and she said, breathlessly..."I love you,too."

Emmy Barrett Brunck Mafera died at 10:30PM that same night. My dad said the last thing she said was "oh shit..." before she fell asleep for the last time. That was SO her!!

I already had the plane reservation.

But, how can this be?